When betrayal is a gift

God has a plan for every broken and betrayed heart. That truth became clear the day when I walked in from a meeting, and I collapsed on the kitchen floor and crawled to the carpet, where I stayed in a fetal position for hours. My dogs ran to my side and stayed with me, listening to my sobs that turned into moans. The depth of my grief left Skipper at a loss. He had never seen me in this state and didn’t know what to do. I asked him to pray over me, play my favorite hymns, and let me just stay there.  That day, I was grieving a betrayal I never could have imagined. It was a raw, blindsiding pain, and I was completely reliant on the saving grace of Jesus. I can only describe it as a gift that He met me there. Maybe the greatest gift I’ve ever received.

That is what God does best—saving us in the midst of our most broken places.

Betrayal looks different for everyone, but it cuts the heart in half for every person who walks through it. We feel alone, and unsure if we can ever trust again. And that is where Jesus met me, after I had been curled up on the floor for hours. God brought an incredible peace that washed over my soul, and I knew He was trying to hand me a gift. I could hear Mom’s voice saying, “Lisa, open all your gifts! The most beautiful ones can come wrapped in “not so pretty” paper but open them and let God show you the beauty and miracles.” God was waiting for me to get up, take and open that gift, shake off the dust, and trust His divine intervention. Taking that first step meant letting the questions go unanswered. They had been churning around in my head. But the peace silenced the questions. I knew it would be okay.

Clarity came during those hours of brokenness, and truth was revealed. Isaiah 45:3 kept coming to mind and settling in my heart. “I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.”The treasure hidden in the darkness is Him. When we face the darkest place, we can know that soon we will be bathed in the brightest light.

In the last moments of lying on that floor, I glimpsed what God had ahead for me: a book to finish; a new nonprofit, Lisa Bain Ministries, that would continue Mom’s ministry, vision and legacy; my health returned, and true authentic friendships were revealed. And He wanted to show me a new level of love and forgiveness. None of that could happen until the door closed, and I moved forward. No looking back. I was holding the black piece-the shading piece-to my sunrise puzzle. God held the brilliant sunrise piece, and it was mine to grab. I could see the light ahead.

Giving the battle to God was the first step in healing the grief. It wasn’t mine to fight. God knows battles and betrayal because He walked through them on my behalf. Judas Iscariot paid 30 pieces of silver in exchange for Jesus’ life. The ultimate betrayal. I often wondered how Jesus could fall for such a trap, but now I know He saw a bigger plan. He said yes to the broken place so we could be set free. He endured rejection by the multitudes who had been praising His name the day before. He allowed Peter to betray Him, three times. He endured the pain of the cross because at the core of it all was our need to be set free.

Betrayal can keep us in a place of unforgiveness, but Jesus endured pain so that we could see the freedom forgiveness brings. I realized that the hidden resentments, those I had neatly tucked away in a secret place, were weighing me down. Working through the pain of betrayal is a daily process, but we can’t move forward until we bring our hurts to the surface and ask God to free us.

I’ve talked with so many people who are dealing with betrayal. One friend asked me recently, “When will I be over this? When will it all be fixed?” Every day is a choice to either trust God with our broken pieces or take them back and put the puzzle together ourselves. Some days I think the pieces are glued and holding tight, then out of nowhere a hurt blindsides me. When that happens, I remember that day on the floor. Only God can put the pieces back together. He wants to unburden us from every battle, hurt, resentment—yes, even the ones we keep hidden.

If you have been betrayed, I want you to know you were not rejected. You were being prepared for a beautiful destiny, and God knows how to get you there. He can walk you through that broken place and out into a beautiful light, where miracles and treasures are waiting.

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