As I sat in a long line of traffic, I began to grow impatient. I had hit all the red lights in town, and I felt that heaviness of “the wait.” It wasn’t only the stoplight; it was all the things in life that seemed to be at a standstill. I had just left a meeting where the conversation was, once again, about the necessity of waiting. That seems to be the theme for so many of us. I heard someone describe this uncomfortable place as “part after and part before, but not squarely either.” I agree. It feels like we are in limbo, and everything in us cries out for a resolution, an answer, a direction — something to move us from the “almost but not yet” place.
I am a planner, and I love my calendar. But the longer I live, the more I realize God wants me to hand my calendar to Him. Sometimes His plans differ from mine, and He desires for me to be content and rest while He is working. I would prefer an immediate resolution, so I often shun the most important part of the journey: waiting. But as the years pass through those seasons of waiting, God has often invited me into the “presence.” My impatience for immediate answers can cause me to miss the miracle of being present in the now. God graciously offers us one moment at a time, one day at a time. I miss so much when I am intent on rushing, pushing, and straining.
His presence, and so I sat on the bench under the shade of a large tree. It was a busy day, and I felt a bit like the bench I was sitting on: off to the side, away from the crowd. It felt like God had hit the pause button on my journey. On the outside, a pause can look calm, but inside there might be a whirlwind of emotions that takes us to an anxious place. As I sat on the bench trying to calm the whirlwind, I knew God was teaching me something. Another lesson. (“Really, Lord, another lesson?”) But this one was building a muscle in my soul that felt life-sustaining. It wasn’t fun or easy, but an opportunity to
As you walk in the field of flowers with your dog, remember to follow the light in the clouds. The obscurity of the full light will someday be revealed. Enjoy the journey and smell the flowers.