Grief

Grief is a sneaky and unpredictable companion. Today marks exactly two years since the sudden loss of my father. This week, I found myself sitting in the same hospital room where he was two years ago before his journey to heaven. It brought a flood of emotions back to the surface as if it were yesterday.

Recently I sat with a dear friend who was walking through grief. She lost her mom suddenly, only a few weeks after her father died. After losing both my parents, I realized the unpredictability of grief and how it will appear from nowhere during moments when I’m unprepared.

Someone asked me if I still grieve over the losses and betrayals in my life—even the loss of a pet. I’ve learned to let these waves of grief ebb and flow; it’s not something I get over, but something I get through daily. It doesn’t get better; it just becomes something different. God is with us through this grief journey and holds us up when those waves threaten to pull us under. Sometimes, the water is calm, and sometimes, it dashes us up against the rocks. I can’t swim, so I am thankful I’m not alone in that ocean of grief!

Through my own losses and in my work with families who are facing loss, I’ve learned the actual weight of grief isn’t felt until the shock wears off. When the meals stop coming, the phone calls are further apart, and the world seems to have moved on, families are left to grapple with the pain and daily reminders of loss. In this unsettling place of grief, we begin to comprehend the profound depths of God’s love and goodness toward us. That love is vast and deep.

Those of us who have journeyed through grief can affirm that it changes us. The road to healing teaches us to embrace pain, not avoid it. When we process our loss instead of burying the painful feelings it brings, we are allowing grief to teach us valuable lessons. In my grief, I can use these lessons to touch the lives of others. And that is when grief becomes transformative.

You may question not only how grief can be good but also how a God who claims to be good can allow suffering, pain, and loss. We’ve all asked this question, but so did Jesus. It’s comforting to know that our Savior asked, “Why?” He uttered this question while hanging on the cross after being mocked, beaten, betrayed, and abandoned. The Bible tells us that Jesus, a man of sorrows acquainted with grief, wept at the gravesite of one of His closest friends (John 11:35). Knowing the ultimate outcome of suffering and death didn’t keep him from feeling grief and asking, “Why?”

Scripture assures us the Lord is close to the broken-hearted and rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Through his unwavering love, mercy, and grace, our compassionate God cares about our grief. He accompanies us through the valley of the shadow of death, giving comfort with his rod and staff and renewing our souls. (Psalm 23)

When waves of grief wash over us, we can cry out to the Lord as we reaffirm the hope of the gospel. Like Job, we declare, “For I know that my Redeemer lives.” (Job 19:25) Our grief acknowledges that things are not as they should be, but our hope in God reminds us that pain doesn’t define the narrative.
For each of you navigating loss, I pray you will encounter the Comforter and discover solace and care in His presence. Grief unites us all and is the common ground where we gather at the foot of the cross. Through the journey of grief, we have the privilege of recognizing and tasting the goodness of the Lord.

“Where there is deep grief, there was great love”