It was our weekly coffee date, and my friend could not hold back her tears. At first, she wiped them away, trying to keep herself composed, but eventually, she let them fall freely.
“How did this happen? I didn’t see it coming, and now it feels like I can’t breathe!” She spoke as tears spilled down her face and then asked, “How will I ever be able to trust again?”
Broken trust feels like a punch to the gut. My friend’s trust had been wrenched away from her in the most heartbreaking way, and I could feel the raw emotion. I had recently walked through the same thing, so I knew the pain came from a deep place. When a dear friend, family member, or leader breaks your trust, it feels like there is nowhere to hide that hurt—it’s always there within reach.
These conversations happen often. Lately, it seems so many people are experiencing broken trust and betrayal. My own journey has sent me to my knees, asking God, “What are you trying to teach me here? Whatever it is, this hurts!” I still remember the words one of my mentors said to me almost twenty years ago: “Lisa, you are way too trusting. The journey you are on will change your trust, how you make decisions, and even change how you view people.” I was skeptical. I told her that kind, loving Christian people would never hurt me or break my trust. It just couldn’t happen. As it turns out, she was right, and I was wrong. My friend’s wisdom was spot on. My trust has been broken in a big way. After walking through the grief of 
being betrayed by leaders I trusted—people who were with my mom’s nonprofit, Joy in the Cause—the hurt was beyond anything I had experienced. I also asked the question, “Will I ever trust again?”
I found myself in a fetal position on the floor, crying out to God, certain the trust would never return. But God had big plans. Soon after the darkness of broken trust, I wrote the book It’s Better Out Here. An essential chapter in the book discusses finding your authentic tribe. One of my dearest friends broke my trust this year, and I asked that same question: “Can I trust again?” Like my friend I was sharing coffee with, my heart was shattered. Once again, I saw the purpose in it all. This time, the broken trust landed differently and I could see how God strengthened, prepared, revealed, and guided me in these moments.
One of my favorite authors, Lysa Terkeurst, walked a similar journey, and she talks about it in the most authentic way. Her recent book is titled I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t. Her story echoes the lessons I’ve learned on my own journey to heal from broken trust. She says, “The trauma of having your trust broken by people you thought would never betray you is life-altering. But it doesn’t have to be life-ruining. We need to shift from blind trust to wise trust. The most important thing I have learned on this journey is to trust wisely, not blindly.” Let that sink in. I recently wrote a blog post about this and asked the following questions: Who is in your boat rowing with you? Who are those safe people loving, praying, and guiding you? Who is drilling holes or just sitting still and taking up space? Who are you wisely choosing to trust?
Our tagline for Lisa Bain Ministries is “Care, Connection, Community.” Connection is vital; we were created for it! Lysa says that “with connection always comes risk.” After walking through massive betrayals, I can say that connection is always worth the risk. It might be scary, but it is so worth it.
These past four years were probably the most challenging season of my life, but I thank God for all of it. I learned how to trust and how to know who is in my boat. There was pain involved, but it was necessary for what was ahead. Lisa Bain Ministries would not exist without those lessons. I often wondered what Mom was talking about at the end of her life when we discussed trust, love, forgiveness, and the nonprofit she began. She knew what was ahead, but she also knew that strength comes when we walk in trust, love, and forgiveness. She knew that trusting in God’s plan, even in broken places, would be the stepping stones to help me walk through the next season of ministry. I am thankful she prepared me.
As Lysa says, “Trust is the oxygen of all human relationships, but it is also what trips you up after you have been burned, so how can you live well and step into the future when you keep stumbling over trust issues?” It is possible. I don’t usually sit and read a book in one sitting, but I couldn’t put this one down. I recommend it to anyone who is dealing with broken trust. It will help you watch for the red flags and help you discern who to trust; it’s a matter of shifting from blind trust to wise trust. My mentor was right about the broken places making us stronger. Broken trust hits differently when you see it from the discerning view of love, forgiveness, and lessons learned.
At the end of our coffee date, my friend’s mood had shifted from despair to relief and peace. Our conversation ended with this 
thought: Through broken trust, through change, through transition, one thing is constant. God remains unchanged. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God uses what threatens to break us to bring new meaning, strength, and determination. My friend and I prayed we could walk through this next season of life with integrity, gratitude, and wonder. Instead of focusing on all that had been taken from my friend, she decided to focus on what this new season could 
bring.
God is working behind the scenes. He doesn’t waste a tear or a hurt. Through the broken trust, He remains steadfast.
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Looking for guidance on rebuilding trust? Lysa Terkeurst’s book “I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t” was one of the best books I have ever read. It is a must-read. This powerful resource offers encouragement, fresh perspectives, and potential breakthroughs for those grappling with broken trust. I highly recommend it – it could be the key to unlocking new insights in your journey towards healing and restored relationships. Order Lisa’s Book Here