I sit there with my heart racing, and I know it’s close when my teeth begin to chatter. I read the course over and over and pray Gracie won’t jump up on that honor dog exercise. The dog before me was perfect. And I have to follow this? My mind is on warped speed. It’s then I realized “Hey, I am out here! I am in this ring and out of the box!” And it is then that I have realized just how far I have come in this training journey.
Yes training can come in so many forms. Today it came with a dog. But oh how it relates to all forms of training and teaching. As I sit here today waiting for my turn at a dog trial I am competing in, I am taken back 4 years ago when the thought of ever being here was just that, only a thought. And boy was it a scary thought!
I began dog training when I got my first bulldog Lucy. Oh I loved that dog. She lived a very short life, but I truly believe her purpose on this earth was to introduce me to the world of dog training. It was through that world that I met some very precious people. They became family.
I remember my first class with Gracie. I left in tears. As I observed all of the other classes, I knew I would never be where they are. I saw their dogs doing things that blew my mind! They would talk about dog shows and competing and my mind just shut down because I knew I would never have the courage of getting in a ring. No way! Talk about getting out of the box! That was one box I would choose to stay in!
I stayed in that box for 3 years. One of my dear trainers would always say to me “Lisa, what is the worse thing that can happen? You will get an “NQ”. (Not qualifying) Oh my gosh, I could just see that happening to me. I just knew that I would start sobbing and it would be horrific! No way! I had visions of my dog out there going nuts! I would never do this. But I always thought to myself……”I wonder if I ever could?”
I continued training. My problem, and my trainers will agree, is that I am impatient. I want my dog to learn it now, be perfect now! That’s just not going to happen. Boy did I go through a year of struggle. But when I looked at the big picture of it all, I realized I was doing this on my own! OH no! Look at the painting! It was a mess! I had taken the paint brushes from the Lord and became unteachable! I wanted it in my own timing, my own way, and I became frustrated.
One day in my prayer chair, I decided I would just give those paint brushes of dog training to the Lord. I know, sounds funny doesn’t it? I remember the day that those paint brushes of fear and the desire to do it on my own, left my hands. You know what is funny about surrendering those brushes to the Lord? You see yourself getting outside of the box! You see possibility! You see OUTSIDE of the box of fear that has you paralyzed. I actually saw myself competing in a dog show! Why did it take me 3 years?
I remember my very first dog trial. I was a nervous wreck, but what gave me peace is knowing God was painting this picture. He would not let me down. Whatever happened, even if my dog ran out of the ring, it would be a beautiful color of the painting that would help complete the big picture. It would be painted with trust, confidence, and an out of the box experience that conquered one of my biggest fear. My fear of failure.
I will never forget my first dog trial, ever. Rally Novice A. And I will never forget the crowd of friends that were there cheering me on. I heard those words from the judge,”are you ready?” Yes I am! And away we went. I don’t think I have ever been that nervous. We completed the course and as I walked past that finish sign, I heard cheers! My husband ran over and gave me a big hug, and I just remember thinking to myself, I did it Lord! I conquered one of my biggest fears, got out of the box, and I didn’t die! I not only got a great score, I placed! It may not be a proper thing to do in the ring when getting a ribbon from the judge, but I danced. I not only danced, I hugged the judge so hard I about picked her up! This was fun!!!!
That was about 10 dog trials ago. And guess what? I have NQ’d (not qualified) many times! And I lived! I always had a fear that I would NQ and just have a breakdown in the middle of the ring. (You know, one of those ugly uncontrollable cries?)
But I will never forget my first NQ. Gracie not only “goosed” the judge on a heeling pattern, she decided to take a trip to the next ring and eat some bones off of the judges table!” I just remember hearing “catch that dog!!!!” And you know what happened next? I laughed. (as I ran to catch my dog of course) I knew I had not only disqualified, but I did it big time, and with such finesse, and I didn’t die! God could even take the brushes of those NQ’s (and trust me there have been many) and paint beauty! In fact I have to say I have learned more from those NQ’s than I ever dreamed possible. Amazing how we can grow and learn if we are willing to learn in our training.
Am I teachable? And I trainable? Am I willing to learn from my NQ’s in life?
Do I come back after an NQ or do I wallow in the enemy’s lies that I am a failure?
I remember in one of my biggest blunders, yes, even worse than my dog running out of the ring, a neat thing happening. The judge took me aside and gave me some tips that I never forgot. In fact I have never to this day repeated that mistake and led my dog astray to that point again. I have learned so much from those NQ’s but I had to come to the place outside of my box, to let myself learn. I have even found laughter and humor in those NQ’s! Oh it’s tempting to get mad. It’s tempting to just want to quit. I can’t tell you how many times I have said to myself, “I am terrible at this, I quit!” But it’s then that I look at my hands and see who is holding the brushes. Oops!
At a recent dog show, my wonderful friends and I were talking at how much these dog experiences have made us get out of our box. We are so out of our comfort zone we can’t even see the box! We went around and talked about our stories and how these dogs, and these events changed our lives. As I looked around I saw so many friends who had such different personalities from all walks of life, and they all were in that ring! One precious friend had such a fear of the ring she had panic attacks. Another was going through a really tough situation at home and fear gripped her life. Another was just there for fun, in fact she threw away her ribbons after each trial, just because she was doing it for fun. Gosh I am not at that place yet. I have to admit, my ribbons are out, and they remind me that I got out of the box and I didn’t let fear have a grip. The general consensus was that we all got out of box and we were sure glad we did. We loved it! We came to the conclusion that we had gained so many miracles along the way that an NQ was so insignificant in comparison to the friendships we had made and the lessons we had learned. It had been life changing.
After all what is an NQ? It means I am just not quite ready….need a bit more training, but I’ll get there. I just need to let God’s timing happen, not mine. That paint brush of patience is the hardest one for me to hand over I must admit.
As I write this chapter, I think of that day I left the training center crying as I looked at those dogs doing things I knew I never would. And I can happily say that I just received a letter inviting me and Gracie to compete in Nationals. The very thing I said I could never do, I will be doing at a National level with dogs from all over the world! Out of the box! You just can’t imagine the things God will teach you and give you the confidence to do outside of the box! Are there dreams you never thought could come true? Are there accomplishments you are to afraid to even think about? Problems you feel you have to figure out yourself, but you just can’t? These all go from NQ to AQ (always qualifying) outside of the box.
One of my favorite quotes is “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity!” The end of our struggle, our choosing to get out of the box, is God’s joyous opportunity to work a miracle! We just have to get out of the way of it! Get out of the confines of our box!
I want to daily be teachable. I want to be able to learn and not be closed minded. I want my heart to be soft so I can always hear the voice of the Lord. If I am in my box with the lid on tight, I am deaf and blind to what awaits outside. Growth! It’s a daily journey, and a daily choice to walk away from that box of pride that I don’t need teaching. I can do it on my own. There is a life of “AQ’s” waiting! The painting is beautiful! As they always say before a trial, “are you ready?” Yes, I am! Let’s go!