Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles
They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
My teeth were chattering, I was pacing back and forth, there were no more fingernails to chew on, and I was drenched in sweat. I did not know it was possible to feel your heartbeat in your nostrils, but it is. Waiting before a dog trial. It is brutal. You watch the others out competing before you and you start second guessing all you have learned. At least that is what I did. The waiting is the worst for me.
But as soon as I get into that ring with my dog, things go quiet, and my heart slows down, and we just do what we trained to do! It always amazes me how I can be so nervous while waiting, but the doing part is easier that the waiting for me.
It’s also like this for me before a run. No matter how hard I train, how prepared I am, it’s always the same. The wait before the race is the hardest. The adrenaline is rushing through my veins, I see all the professional runners in their amazing running attire, then look at myself in my same old running shorts, just there to have fun, and I start to panic. Why am I here? Fun? Am I having fun? Look at all these people who are so much better than I am? And it starts….I begin to question myself. Just let me start running already! Then the gun goes off, the runners begin, and my adrenaline can be used for running now, not waiting! Oh how I hate to wait!
Waiting outside of the box. This is not an easy one for me. But what exactly does it mean? How do you wait outside of a box anyway? Well, I have waited inside of my box before and it is not a pretty picture. Have you ever become so anxious in the waiting that you hastily made a wrong decision? Began the race too early? Psyched yourself out of the game? Did you have the brushes of impatience and anxiousness in hand and begin painting with those brushes? I wish I could say I have never done this, but I have unfortunately done it often. I am a very impatient person and this one has been one God has had to really help me through. Many times it is that last second of waiting, that God is putting the final touches on the very perfect picture He has waiting. The enemy will do anything to get our attention off of that picture and onto moving too fast. And usually the closer it gets, the more impatient we grow. That is when we can make the decision to step outside of the box and let go of the brushes, and trust God, or we can stay within our box, use our own strength in the situation, go with the lies the enemy whispers to us to act hastily, holding on for dear life. And then the mistake is made and we run off course….inside our box.
I have made more wrong decisions in that box than I care to admit. But boy have I learned from those mistakes. These past few years I have done more waiting, and realized that it has brought more growth and learning to my life. I realized that as I stepped outside of the box, and gave God those brushes to paint the picture He had for me in HIS time, He did something miraculous. I saw miracles while waiting! I saw growth in myself that I had never seen! I saw the situation through His eyes and became excited about the wait! I was not a royal mess! Again, I asked myself, “what took me so long to get out here?” And the answer was always fear. There was that roaring lion of fear trying to convince me that I would be devoured outside of the box. That I would miss out on something if I didn’t act now! How could waiting possibly be a good thing? I have learned that it is.
Sometimes God has us waiting outside of the box for our own protection. He is protecting us from harm. Sometimes we get in our own way, and He is trying to keep us from destroying ourselves! There have been many times that I have been kept waiting. Whether it be a slow driver, a slow cashier, or a circumstance that kept me waiting, I became impatient, and just plain mad. Hurry up already! We have all been there right? You scream in your car like you can be heard. . .HURRY UP! I remember an incident a few years ago that kept me waiting. I was late! I raced to my car and began the drive hastily home. As I made the trip home there was a fatal car accident. That could have been me if moments earlier! Maybe I was delayed for my own protection and I should be thankful! It was a horrible accident. I remember it like it was yesterday. I still thank God I had a slow cashier that day who kept me waiting!
I remember one incident where I was at a stop light. The light turned green but I just felt a check in my spirit, WAIT! But it’s green! What? I hesitated a bit and as I looked up and began to put my foot on the gas, a huge semi came barreling through that could not stop. His brakes had failed and he jackknifed into the intersection where I would have been had I gone ahead. My car would have been demolished. That scene is so vivid in my memory to this day. From that day, no matter how slow a person, or how detained I get, I take a deep breath, get out of my box and know I’ll get there when I am supposed to. Alive. Protected.
I have a little story to tell you about baking and waiting. What? Yes, baking and waiting. It once again took me out of my box of impatience, and into the understanding that some of the best things in my life are a process. And waiting is all a part of the process, a very important part of it!
As I sat there anxiously waiting, staring at my wonderful masterpiece in the oven to be finished, I was so excited! My first try at a new cake recipe (gluten free, sugar free) and I was feelin’ like chef Lisa with my huge oven mitts on. I just needed the hat! I was in between appointments, but I was craving something sweet! So as fast as I could, I was pouring the ingredients into the bowl, and determined I would have my cake within the hour.
I heard the buzzer ring, and you would have thought it was the finish line in a race. I sprinted! It was beautiful! I was so proud! I love to bake, but my skills as a gluten free pastry chef are severely lacking. The gluten free journey I am on is an interesting one to say the least. But I am determined to make the best of it by golly!
The house was quiet, and I was all alone, which is rare these days. Just my dogs staring up at me sensing my “cake excitement!” As I sliced my first piece (yes, I knew there would be a second) I almost wanted to sing the hallelujah chorus! This was my first taste of anything sweet in 2 months. Can you tell? I took my first bite, knowing how amazing it would be…..and my mouth came to a screeching halt! It was HORRIBLE! What kind of recipe was this? I knew it could not have been my baking skills! Surely I was not that bad of a cook! I re-traced my steps, and all of the sudden (not wanting to admit that I am literally blind without my reading glasses) realized that instead of cinnamon, I put in chili powder. And are you ready for this…. I left out the sugar! (or stevia powder in this case since I can’t have sugar) There it was sitting in the measuring cup, and right in front of me (which I realized after I put on my glasses) I felt like such a dork! Seriously Lisa? Chili powder? Fail!
Totally bummed, I threw the cake in the sink and mumbled under my breath….”well this was a waste of time.” But you know what is so funny, under my mumbling breath I heard the Lord say “Maybe to you, but not to me.” “What Lord?” I say that often these days….in amazement at what He is telling and teaching me. It was then that I began to see the lesson He was wanting to teach me from my cake disaster.
Many times in my impatience of “Hurry up Lord!”….I see that it’s like He’s baking a cake! Yep….being the visual person that I am, I saw cake! All the wonderful ingredients (gifts) in my life are delicately being put together. It’s measured perfectly, and it is not done hurriedly. (and He has 20/20 vision and no reading glasses!) He knows what it takes for a perfect recipe. He knows just how long it takes for the cake to bake…..but it has to bake. That means heat! Refinement! God has the ingredients together, and now the refinement. Some things are made beautiful by the heating process. In this case as He was showing me….He was working out the things in my life perfectly, some were in the oven…..the desert….the dry land…. the dark place (the oven!) But what comes out is a wonderful masterpiece! In that masterpiece come the answers, the healing, the miracles! But I can’t do any of this if I am inside my box. It comes from being outside of the box trusting God. Getting strength from Him to wait! Not move! Just trust!
This put things into a whole new perspective. I knew these things in my heart, but today it just hit home. In fact His whole journey for me these past few years have been a journey of realizations and out of the box experiences. Things I was taught, knew, and learned my entire life have begun to become a part of who I am. I was living them outside of my protective box, not just learning them. Instead of hearing about God’s baking abilities, I was watching Him bake…and it was my life He was baking! I have to admit….as I sat there reflecting on all of this I thought about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and the fiery furnace. (3rd chapter of Daniel) What a devotion to God they had! God really did spectacular things in that oven! Wow! Now that’s a real “out of the box” oven story!
Yes Lord, I will leave the baking to you! Off goes the oven mitt, and my ideas of being the gluten free Betty Crocker. I know God blows Betty Crocker out of the water anyway, and I know the cake He is baking will be unique, and complete in every way. It will be topped with a frosting of miracles, and healing, and it will be delightful! It is my job to give Him the chef’s hat, and leave the baking to him. After all who wants chili powder in a cake!
Waiting outside of the box is where God refines us the most. It’s where we have to blindly trust God with things we cannot see. Complete abandonment. It’s where we accomplish the most! It’s not an easy place to be, but it is what catapults us to the next level! I am learning that these times of waiting can be precious. Some of my most precious times with Jesus have been in my “standing”, “waiting”, moments. He knows it’s harder for me to stand than run, and His grace pours out in just the proportion I need. Funny to think it’s harder to stand than to run. But for me, it is! I have learned to listen to the sweet still small voice as I stand, and it gives me hope and strength and patience to be still and not rush ahead.
I did a study on resting in the presence of God. And I was amazed when I learned that rest can be a weapon! A weapon we use in the battles that the enemy throws in our path to defeat us. It is a sword in our hand. Resting never allows the opposition to dictate how we think or feel. Never. It brings all negativity to a standstill. It has the best jab ever. It has the confidence and the assurance to say “No, you are not coming in.” when the enemy comes knocking. When we enter into the rest of God, we are at peace within His shadow. The Bible even serves to remind us in 1 Kings 5:4 that God will give rest to us on every side and that there will be no adversary or disaster that will be able to penetrate His great love. He goes before us in every situation to make the crooked paths straight.
My prayer is that whatever season you are facing, no matter how insurmountable the hurdles and race you are in may seem….that you find rest. Your miracle is waiting there. I promise…you will not only win the race victoriously….you will cross the finish line in record time! God won’t let you down. I promise, He won’t let you down.