Before this pandemic I never new what “zoom” was. In fact there are many things I have learned during this time of “time” to do more things….away from others, yet staying close at the same time. I am thankful for FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, and all of the ways I have been able to remain close to my friends, bible study, and prayer group. And I am learning that I really don’t hate to read after all! It has been a joy to have several book/bible studies going with friends during this time. And I have to admit these studies have been life changing. I usually don’t plug books on social media, probably because I rarely have time to read them! But for those of you who have walked through some type of betrayal, or brokenness…..these are a must read while you have time. “Beyond Betrayal”, by Phil Waldrep, and “The Broken Way, a Daring Path Into Abundant Life.” By Ann Voskamp. (one of my favorites!)
Walking through a broken friendship with someone you trusted, healing after a broken marriage, a family member betrayal, trust of a leader broken, just the beginning of the list of ways one can feel betrayed. A situation where your trust has been broken and violated, can be paralyzing. Each unique in its details, but all of these have one thing in common, trust has been shattered by someone you loved and trusted. And the greater your emotional involvement in the life of the person who betrayed you, the greater pain you will feel. It can blindside you, and leave you feeling gut punched as if you will never trust again. I have been there. It can shake your trust to the core. It can shut you down. I have never read two books that shed so much healing light on the subject of brokenness and betrayal than these. I have truly loved our study on these books with these ladies. There is an old expression that summarizes it well: if you don’t heal what hurts you, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you. I could not agree more! It was no mistake that the last conversation I remember the most with my Mom before she went to heaven was on loving and forgiving. Love always….and forgive often. The two go together. If there was one thing she wanted drilled into my head the most it was to love and forgive. She knew what would be ahead, and that it would be put to the test in a big way. She was right. I know she had a glimpse of it all and her direction was heaven sent even on those last months we shared those conversations.
Just this week I was having a phone conversation with a dear friend who had been betrayed. She had been hurt deeply by another she had loved and confided in and her trust was shattered. Her pain so deep she could not even breathe through the tears. My heart just ached with her as we talked, and prayed together through her pain. I think it is safe to say we have all walked through this kind of pain before in our lives. When the “how could they”, “why”, questions begin……But there is good news!
There is freedom from hurt. There is good brokenness that heals. There is forgiveness! As Ann Voskamp says so wonderfully in her book: “There’s brokenness that’s not about blame. There’s brokenness that makes a canvas for God’s light. There’s brokenness that makes windows straight into souls. Brokenness happens in a soul so the power of God can happen in a soul.The whole suffering world rings with the comfort of it, how His nailed scarred hands cup our faces, hold our hurting hearts & He whispers: “I know… *I know.* Me too. *Me too*.”We never cry alone.Never, ever alone.” Today as I read the last chapters of our study on these books I realize my views on those betrayals and hurts in my own life are truly not felt the same as when I began the study. When in our own flesh we can’t love those who hurt us…He can….through us. It is possible to love, it is possible to forgive. It is a journey, but one that can be filled with “ah ha” moments and miracles, and SO much growth…..if we let it.
Life is too short and I think it has been shown to us more than ever through this pandemic. Life is fragile, and in a moment things can change. I want those moments filled with love, and not anger. Forgiveness, not hurt. Prayer not discouragement. Hope, not despair. It is a time we all need to come together in love, forgiveness, and I think God is showing us that everyday through this time in our nation how important that unity is.This dark place truly can be a canvas for His light.
We are in this together…..