We laughed so hard we could barely come up for air. We cried, we hugged, we enjoyed the afternoon enjoying the sunshine and watching our dogs play. We could have spent the entire day together and still not told all of our stories together. What a wonderful afternoon with my friend. As I drove home after our long visit, I started thanking God for those precious friendships in my life. And I realized how rare those really precious “inner circle” friendships are. They stand the test of time, and they accept you warts and all. They don’t vote you off the island when things get tough. They cry during the loss, they celebrate during the victories. They remain for every season. Those precious friendships are a two way street: talking and listening, giving and receiving, loving and being loved. A good friend brings joy to life. Friendships are often bonded in pain. Sometimes, you go through some really tough times together, and those friendships share a common painful moment that very few are truly part of.
I recently had coffee with a dear friend who was talking about friendship as well. Only she was grieving the loss of a dear friendship. She was filled with “why’s” and “how’s” as she sorted through the pain and shared with me her deep hurt of what had happened. She commented that this friendship was so dear to her that she felt like some of her identity had even been ripped away, from the brokenness of what was once a close and precious friendship. I have had many conversations with people lately about this same subject. I think coming out of a pandemic has brought many issues like this to the surface. What happens when a friendship ends? How do you navigate though that “loss of identity and trust?”
These conversations helped me reflect on my own life this past year. I have come to realize that there will be friendships that will only last for a season. But what is more important than ever is to have a firm identity in a never changing Christ. Worth is not determined by the abundance of friendships in life but by the abundance of Christ love, for you….for me. I recently read in one of my devotions about a pastor who would say to his congregation “Christ is the light at the end of your dark tunnel. And He’s not going anywhere. Others may leave, but He will stay.” He will stay. Through every season, every day, every hour. He’s your friend, and He will never leave you or forsake you.
I have learned through the broken friendships in my life, lessons that have taught me more than I can even express. I am thankful for those who come into my life as lessons and those who are in it for the long haul. Both are important! In fact I would not trade what I have learned in the broken places because it helped me develop and nurture the true, all season, inner circle friendships and be discerning to what was healthy and not healthy in an even greater way. Trust can be healed. It takes time, but is so worth the journey through those broken places. If you are one of those who is grieving the loss of a friendship today, I want to encourage you. God is there in those broken places and He hears you. He’s that light at the end of the lonely tunnel you feel will never end. He is the friend who never leaves, and will reveal to you those genuine all season friendships who will stand the test of time. Trust will be restored. Don’t give up.
John 15:15
I do not call you servants any longer, because servants do not know what their master is doing. Instead, I call you friends, because I have told you everything I heard from My Father.
Proverbs 18:24
Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers.
Hebrews 13:5b
For God has said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.
Malachi 3:6a
I am the Lord, and I do not change.