Our mess doesn’t define us, but things sure have been messy lately for so many people. Our biggest question is often, “what now?” A friend of mine recently lost two family members, and is battling a tough illness, along with an unexpected job loss. She is asking that question and wondering how she will move forward.
Her tears fell fast, and as she talked, I could hear my own “what now?” echoing in my head. I had asked God this same question a couple of weeks ago as I sat in the quiet of my porch swing. And, along with it, the questions, “Why?” “How?” I allowed myself to ask those questions because I have experienced God’s kindness and faithfulness, and I’m confident He can handle the questions. He knows my heart. Yet when I’m sitting in that place of disappointment or fear, I’m prone to paint the character of my heavenly Father through the filter of my feelings. It’s tempting to believe our circumstances sum up who we are and where we’re headed.
The past few months have been messy as we said goodbye to Dad and several dear friends. As I walked through my own COVID illness, things felt broken, and it was easy to wonder if God was still working in the midst of my situation. When we’re faced with the ache of loss and the exhaustion of illness, we might be tempted to believe God doesn’t care as much as we thought He did. Maybe He stopped listening. Or grew weary of our questions.
It is in the messiest moments—when my emotions and feelings block the truth—that I need a voice to dispute all those fears and worries. The day I sat on my porch swing, contemplating the “What now?” question, my Bible fell open to Proverbs 30, and I began to read. In verse 5, God promises His Word isn’t just a refuge for our anxious hearts, but it’s also a voice we can trust. Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
God knows my heart before I even open my mouth to ask Him the questions. As I read His Word that day, scripture after scripture spoke truth and quieted
the voices that claimed God might not be listening, or might not care. 1 Peter 5:7 declares I can cast this anxiety on the Lord, because He cares for me. Romans 8:28 announces God is working through the mess in my life for a good purpose. He has a plan! Psalms 66:19 reminds me God is listening, and He tunes His ear to the voice of my prayer. As I read, the words spoke louder than my doubts and confusion. He is the “what now.” He is the “why,” and the “how.” My questions faded in the bright light of His promises.
the voices that claimed God might not be listening, or might not care. 1 Peter 5:7 declares I can cast this anxiety on the Lord, because He cares for me. Romans 8:28 announces God is working through the mess in my life for a good purpose. He has a plan! Psalms 66:19 reminds me God is listening, and He tunes His ear to the voice of my prayer. As I read, the words spoke louder than my doubts and confusion. He is the “what now.” He is the “why,” and the “how.” My questions faded in the bright light of His promises.I may not understand the plan, but I know He is for me, and He will guide me through the messy parts. He is patient with my childlike frustrations and has answers for my questions. He loves me despite them.
There is hope in your future, even through the mess, the questions, and the hurt. His mercies are new every morning. If it feels like you are caught between a rock and a hard place right now, remember, Jesus IS the rock. There is no place so difficult He can’t find you and wrap you in His arms. This is how we move from the cramped shadows of hiding in our hurt to walking in the wide expanse of trust. When we are standing in the gap between the worries of our heart and what we know of God’s heart, we can invite His Word to bridge the distance. This is the place we experience God on a deep level.
I encourage you to draw near to Him. Your Father loves you no matter how messy it gets or how many questions you ask. He is waiting with open arms to be your “what now.”
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Lisa Bain Ministries