As I stood in one of the longest checkout lines I could remember, my frustration level began to build. It was days after the New Year, and I assumed that stores would be empty. I was wrong. There were eleven carts in front of me filled with after-holiday sales items. The line was creeping along, and I needed to find a way to pass the time and keep my frustration from taking over. I thought about the message Janis Sharpe had given us at a Tulsa Women’s Fellowship meeting recently about living in Awe. I love what she said about taking mental snapshots of those moments and drawing on them when we need a good thought. There has to be snapshot memories of Awe I can draw on right now, I thought. I began to pray, thanking God for the moments of Awe in my life, and asking Him if there might be one today—here in the very long checkout line. That was a stretch, I knew. Here I was in a warehouse line a mile long. Where was the Awe here? I prayed despite my doubts.
It’s easy for me to get anxious and impatient in these moments, so I took a deep breath and decided to take a different approach and look around. As I did, my vision kept returning to my cart, and the two dozen roses that sat on top of all my items. I would give one of the dozen roses to a precious friend who was facing an enormous loss. The other dozen? I wasn’t sure yet, but I couldn’t pass them up because their colors were Mom and Grandma’s favorites. In fact, when I saw the roses, I had an Awe moment. I needed a reminder of their presence today. I had no idea what God had planned for those roses.
I looked behind me as I moved my cart and saw an older lady standing quietly with three items in her hand: bread, peanut butter, and jelly. Her eyes were watering, tears waiting to fall, but she tried to smile at me. Her frail hands were trembling as she gripped her three items. I didn’t know her story, but I prayed for her silently and then said hello. She replied with a quiet hello, and I offered for her to go ahead of me since she only had three items.
“Really?” she replied. “You would do that for me?”
She moved in front and we chatted. Her name was Rosa, and the food was for the three grandchildren she was raising. Their parents—her daughter and son-in-law—
had died tragically, and now her life revolved around the children. “I needed to get dinner supplies,” she said as I looked at what would be their dinner. Peanut butter and jelly. “It’s their favorite, and I love making them happy.”Rosa shared many details about her life that made my heart sink to the floor, but she wasn’t complaining. Even through the tears she held back, I could tell she found comfort in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And she found joy in her grandchildren; her face brightened as she talked about them. We both looked at the cart ahead of us filled with sliced chicken, pasta dishes, ready-to-eat barbecue, rolls, and cakes. We agreed it all looked delicious, and Rosa told me chicken was her favorite.
The conversation died down between us after a few minutes, and I was back to my thoughts again. I felt the Lord speak to my heart: This is it. This is your moment of Awe in a warehouse store.
What?
At that moment, I realized the roses I bought in Mom and Grandma’s memory were meant for Rosa. That money card I had in my hand, ready for checkout was meant for Rosa. God wanted this grandmother to have chicken for dinner tonight, not just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After Rosa and I had both checked out, she thanked me for being so kind to her. I picked up the roses on top of my cart and handed them over. “These are for you, Rosa. They have your name on them.” I also handed her the money card and told her to go back and get the groceries she needed. And then, she let out a gasp of Awe I will never forget.
“Me? This? How? Really? I don’t deserve this! You don’t know me!” The more she talked, the more her tears fell.
“They are a gift from heaven,” I told her. “Your heavenly father wants you to know that you do deserve these roses, Rosa. And you deserve a wonderful meal with your grandchildren. God sees you. He loves you. He wants to help you.”Her eyes widened. “He does?” By that point, we were both crying. If there is a moment after Awe, when the world seems right, that was it. I offered to help Rosa get the groceries, and off we went. She wanted to carry her roses as we shopped, and she looked like a princess in that warehouse store, beaming as she walked the aisles. I imagined Mom and Grandma watching Rosa’s smile and every happy step she took. The tears had dried, and her eyes were sparkling as she picked out all the items to make her grandkids favorites—including a delicious chicken dish like the one we had smelled in front of us earlier. After she paid, she held the roses up and said to the cashier, “See my roses? They are from heaven!” As I watched Rosa’s car pull out of the parking lot, I noticed she was still holding her roses, and still smiling. God had seen Awe waiting in the long line of carts, and I said a prayer of thanks. I was grateful I had taken a breath and asked Him to show it to me. I could have easily missed a life-changing moment if I had let my frustration take over.
I may never see Rosa again, but the time I spent with her gave me a snapshot memory to remind me that God always has an Awe moment waiting. Take time to breathe today and ask God to show you the awesome things surrounding you. Even on our hardest days, Awe waits to be seen and experienced.
Awe was my word for the year in 2022, and I can’t think of a better way to begin 2023 than a moment like the one I had with Rosa. Take time to stand in Awe, and you’ll be surprised at what you see. God may even use you to help someone else find Awe. You might see peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but God sees a feast.