I heard the sobs coming from the dressing room beside me and wondered if I should call for help. They were gut-wrenching sounds, and then I heard her words.“I’m too fat, too fat. Why am I so ugly!?”
“I’m going to be the ugliest one there,” she said through her sobs. The woman in the dressing room next to mine had slid to the floor, and I could picture her leaning up against the mirror, unable to look at herself any longer. “How did this happen?” The sobs continued, and after a few minutes, she stood back up. I could hear zipping and tugging. I had an armload of dresses of my own to try on, and as I began the process, my heart went out to the woman.
Dressing rooms are no fun. As a young woman, I hated my body. That feeling of “too fat” followed me every time I had to buy new clothes, look at myself in the mirror, walk into a crowded room. I remember that panicky feeling in the dressing room, wishing for a different body and comparing myself to a standard that I could never live up to. It was a journey to learn how to love myself just as God created me, but some days I still struggle with this.
That afternoon in the dressing room, I had just come from meeting with one of my dearest friends to discuss her latter stage cancer prognosis. I had been in tears most of the morning and wanted to get the dress shopping over with. I hate shopping, but the time with my friend had put things in perspective.
Hearing those sobs next door made me wish I could take the woman in my arms and tell her she was worth so much more than what she looked like on the outside. She continued to groan, tug, zip, and mutter under her breath. I exited the dressing room with my rejects and shopped for a while longer. By the time I had loaded up with more dresses to try on, the woman was sitting outside the dressing rooms in a chair beside her husband, empty-handed and eyes red from crying.
I tried on a few more dresses and walked out with my final choice, then hung it on the rack by the cashier.
“I love that dress,” the woman from the dressing room said, and I thanked her.
“Did you find something?” I asked, and she shook her head.
“There’s nothing for me here.”
She sat for a minute, looking at the dress while the cashier rang up my purchase.
“Is your dress for a special occasion?” she asked, and I told her it was for an event related to my therapy dogs. Her eyes lit up, and I showed her a picture of my dogs. She 
and her husband had just lost their dog, and we talked about how that feeling of loss lingers. We had an instant connection, and I decided to ask if I could help her find a dress.
“I bet there is one here just for you,” I said.
and her husband had just lost their dog, and we talked about how that feeling of loss lingers. We had an instant connection, and I decided to ask if I could help her find a dress.
“I bet there is one here just for you,” I said.She glanced at her husband and then shook her head again. “I’ve looked. There’s nothing here for me.”
I smiled. “Let’s just look.”
We walked around the racks for about 15 minutes, picking out styles of dresses that would complement her figure. I talked about visiting my friend that morning and told the woman I had also been dreading dress shopping. The only way I could get through it, I said, was to start listing things I was thankful for. “I bet you could name five things you’re grateful for,” I said to her as she looked into the three-way mirror outside the dressing room. The dress she wore was a fit, and she smiled and quickly named five things. I will never forget that smile.
There are voices in our head that tell us we don’t measure up. We say negative things to ourselves every day and listen to the noise about who we should be and what we should look like. We see images that warp the view we have of ourselves, causing us to believe we’re not enough if we’re not perfect.
The woman’s sobs were the cries of so many who feel unworthy when they look at themselves in the mirror. It’s a broken place and walking out of it isn’t easy. Gratitude and perspective help, but so does hearing that we all struggle with society’s expectations. When we speak authentically to one another about our worth, truly love, pray, and uplift each other, it drowns out the noise and allows us to look in the mirror and see the true beauty looking back at us.
Thank God for the unique gifting and beauty that you have because there’s only ONE you! And you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a creator who doesn’t make mistakes. That’s pretty awesome. And so are YOU!
Psalms 139:14